Pity Party

Several people have emailed to see if we're okay since I haven't posted in awhile. I wanted to assure you that we are fine; thanks for checking. The truth is I started a post at the beginning of last week about how excited we were getting and how I was beginning to get antsy about getting a referral soon. We knew Astrakhan was shut down for July and August so we've been expecting to hear some news about the beginning of September. However, we received an email from our coordinator in the region last week and she indicated that the earliest possibility of us traveling is in early October. I was sooooo upset. I can't believe I keep letting myself get my hopes up only to get disappointed again and again. It's not so much the additional time we need to wait, after all it's really only another month or so. I was more disheartened by the fact that if the 1st trip is early October then the 2nd trip will involve me being in Russia for all of November (the 10-days are not waived and I'm planning to stay the entire time while Stu will return home after court to be with the boys). If I'm away for all of November, I will miss Thanksgiving (not a huge deal, but we missed it two years ago with Monkey's adoption), but more importantly I'll miss Chipmunk's 5th birthday:( I could cry just thinking about it. I know there will be more birthdays and I'm sure he won't mind too much, it's just the point. Also, I'm a little bummed because once again, it will be cold, cold, cold during our second trip which drastically limits how much we can get out of the hotel. After this adoption, we will have been to Russia six times - October (hopefully x2), November (hopefully x2), December, and January. Seriously, you think we could catch a break and maybe just ONCE travel during nicer weather. But it doesn't look like it is meant to happen. I much more nervous about staying by myself during the cold weather too. We rely on Stu to go out and get food/supplies/etc. because it is seriously too cold (in Moscow, at least) to take a young child out for more than a few minutes. Not sure how we'll manage but I'm sure it will work out.
But even more important than those problems is that our dossier expires at the end of October, which means that we are going to have to redo almost our entire dossier. WAAAAHHHHH!!!! Just the thought of doing that makes me a little sick to my stomach. And I can honestly say that for a few days I felt like throwing in the towel and just being content with my two beautiful boys. Of course, that feeling didn't last and I know it will be a distant memory when we have HotDog home but I am very disappointed about all of this additional paperwork/expense.
I know these aren't huge setbacks in the overall scheme of things, and I know many families who have been through much worse than this. But we were so spoiled with both of our previous adoptions - they were smooth, quick - couldn't have asked for better adoptions (other than traveling during the winter, of course). And I just feel like we're hitting roadblock after roadblock on this one.
Anyway, I had to take a step back from all things adoption-related and just pamper my family for a little while before I dive back into all of the paperwork again. Sorry for the whining (I really hate to whine and pout), but I wanted to let you know where I've been and why I might be a little quiet for a bit longer. I'm still here and still lurking among my favorite blogs. I'm excited to see so many other families making great progress; it cheers me up to watch families receiving referrals and see many of the regions become more active. I guess I'll just continue to live vicariously through these other families until it's our turn.