Sunday, August 19, 2007

Pity Party

Several people have emailed to see if we're okay since I haven't posted in awhile. I wanted to assure you that we are fine; thanks for checking. The truth is I started a post at the beginning of last week about how excited we were getting and how I was beginning to get antsy about getting a referral soon. We knew Astrakhan was shut down for July and August so we've been expecting to hear some news about the beginning of September. However, we received an email from our coordinator in the region last week and she indicated that the earliest possibility of us traveling is in early October. I was sooooo upset. I can't believe I keep letting myself get my hopes up only to get disappointed again and again. It's not so much the additional time we need to wait, after all it's really only another month or so. I was more disheartened by the fact that if the 1st trip is early October then the 2nd trip will involve me being in Russia for all of November (the 10-days are not waived and I'm planning to stay the entire time while Stu will return home after court to be with the boys). If I'm away for all of November, I will miss Thanksgiving (not a huge deal, but we missed it two years ago with Monkey's adoption), but more importantly I'll miss Chipmunk's 5th birthday:( I could cry just thinking about it. I know there will be more birthdays and I'm sure he won't mind too much, it's just the point. Also, I'm a little bummed because once again, it will be cold, cold, cold during our second trip which drastically limits how much we can get out of the hotel. After this adoption, we will have been to Russia six times - October (hopefully x2), November (hopefully x2), December, and January. Seriously, you think we could catch a break and maybe just ONCE travel during nicer weather. But it doesn't look like it is meant to happen. I much more nervous about staying by myself during the cold weather too. We rely on Stu to go out and get food/supplies/etc. because it is seriously too cold (in Moscow, at least) to take a young child out for more than a few minutes. Not sure how we'll manage but I'm sure it will work out.
But even more important than those problems is that our dossier expires at the end of October, which means that we are going to have to redo almost our entire dossier. WAAAAHHHHH!!!! Just the thought of doing that makes me a little sick to my stomach. And I can honestly say that for a few days I felt like throwing in the towel and just being content with my two beautiful boys. Of course, that feeling didn't last and I know it will be a distant memory when we have HotDog home but I am very disappointed about all of this additional paperwork/expense.
I know these aren't huge setbacks in the overall scheme of things, and I know many families who have been through much worse than this. But we were so spoiled with both of our previous adoptions - they were smooth, quick - couldn't have asked for better adoptions (other than traveling during the winter, of course). And I just feel like we're hitting roadblock after roadblock on this one.
Anyway, I had to take a step back from all things adoption-related and just pamper my family for a little while before I dive back into all of the paperwork again. Sorry for the whining (I really hate to whine and pout), but I wanted to let you know where I've been and why I might be a little quiet for a bit longer. I'm still here and still lurking among my favorite blogs. I'm excited to see so many other families making great progress; it cheers me up to watch families receiving referrals and see many of the regions become more active. I guess I'll just continue to live vicariously through these other families until it's our turn.

10 comments:

Troy and Rachel said...

It's your party and you can cry if you want too!! Cheesy huh?!? Don't ever feel bad about laying it all there. Sometimes it helps to vent and then breathe and realize (as you know) it's all worth it in the end. I hope you hear soon and it was good to see a post from you.

Becky and Keith said...

I'm so sorry for your bad news! We got the same kind of news, but you've been waiting much longer than we have! It's so hard to not get your hopes up and I think your pity party was the BEST thing you could do for yourself! Just like the song Rachel sang for you. :-) Vent all you want for the next few months... you're totally entitled! Hugs!

Joel and Nancy said...

I know exactly what you are feeling. We are in the same boat. Yesterday, I was ready to get out. And there are times I wonder if I really should. What are we thinking? Anyway, hang in there.
Maybe we will be traveling at the same time and maybe my husband can go out to the market for supplies. God will take care of you, that I am sure about.

Carey and Norman said...

Norman will also be leaving after the court hearing, but thank goodness my mother will be in tow to help. I too will be venturing out in the cold to collect supplies while she stays at the hotel. I was a little nervous to go it alone being our first adoption.

I hate to hear the news of updating your Dossier. I dreaded even thinking about that when I began the paperwork chase. It is not hard just time consuming. In the end, you'll have your little girl!! As they say...keep your eye on the prize!

Jenn Chadwell said...

I'm so sorry. That would make me pull away from blogging and adoption stuff for a bit, too- to do exactly what you said you did; just concentrate on your family.
OK, my attempt to put a smile on your face-- just think of all the pounds you won't gain by not having thanksgiving!! :o) (did it bring even a little one to your face??)

Michael and Carrie said...

I'm so sorry to hear about another delay. I know it is so frustrating! Hang in there! Hopefully, you'll get a call early in October that things are moving and your little girl is waiting for you! We'll pray for that!

Janine said...

I hope things come quickly for you and that october is it, you get to go. I too have 2 little boys and am adopting a little girl. It's so exciting...to be a mom to a little girl. Hang in there...it will definately be worth it!!

Amy said...

I'm so sorry to read your post this week. I've been reading it and felt compelled to give you my support. Even though Monday marked our 4 month anniver. for our Dossier to be in Russia, I can totally relate with what you are going through. I thought we would have at least met our Boo by now. I too pick "dates" as to when I think we'll be traveling.

I totally understand about leaving your children for so long; esp. during the holidays and birthday. But maybe this will be the last time....Hang in there, it will happen.

Laura said...

I'm so sorry that this process hasn't moved more quickly for you! Gosh, I hope it will all go fast from here on, and Hotdog will be home before you know it!
big hugs,
Laura

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