Yesterday we went to our weekly playgroup. There are usually 5-6 moms that meet, with 11-12 children. There are two baby girls in our group that are just adorable; one is 7 months old (the daughter of my best friend) and the other is 5 months old. I love to watch them learn and explore the world around them; I often think that HotDog is probably doing similar things right about now (considering the delays that she'll most likely have). People often ask me if it's hard to be around other babies, knowing I'm missing out on those moments with our little girl. The answer is "not really." Of course I wish I could experience those moments with our daughter - I wish I could have been there when she was born, comforted her when she was sick, cheered her on as she reached new milestones, and celebrated her first birthday with her. But the reality is that I can't be there for her during these times in her life and I've learned to accept that (one huge step for me in letting go of control!). Therefore, I find it comforting to be around other babies that are at comparative developmental stages as our HotDog. It makes me feel like in some small way I am a part of her life.
I think it also helps that we have been to both of the baby homes in our region from which most of the children are referred (S was from one and M was from the other). We know the directors and caregivers at both of these institutions and know that HotDog is getting very good care. While neither of these baby homes has many extras, they really do the best they can with what little they do have. And we could tell how much the caregivers loved and cared for both of our boys. So while it is not the ideal place for our baby, we know our HotDog is getting love and attention until we she becomes part of our family and that is helping me get through each day.
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5 comments:
Time goes by so quickly, you will have her here before you know it. :)
My best friend is pregnant, and has a 2 yr old boy. She keeps saying to me "next summer you'll be doing xxx". It is finally starting to feel real to me. And like you said, though hotdog and bubba aren't where we'd choose, they are being taken care of for now.
So glad you are keeping a positive outlook. Hot Dog will be ready for you when the time is right and will bloom with your love and attention.
Amy
I know it's hard, but we will get through this. And like Aemom said, this time next year.. all of this will be a memory. HOPEFULLY!!! :)
I'm waiting with you.
It is hard seeing other babies who are younger than Owen. Finding out Friday that he has started walking in his crib in the orphanage was both wonderful news and sad news. I do feel like I'm missing so much, but I have to stay positive and look forward into the future of all of the firsts we will experience together. I can't wait! Thinking about you as you wait too!
Adrienne
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