Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I'm Back

It's amazing how a weekend surrounded by friends and family can change one's outlook on a dismal situation.
I had such a delightful weekend. On Saturday I met up with 3 of my college roommates for lunch and shopping. We laughed, gossiped, and made plans for all of our families to get together several times this summer.
Then on Saturday night, Stu and I and the boys visited with some family that was in from California. My family is big and loud and likes to have a good time. There was plenty of food, beer, and music. After a fun night, we stumbled into our beds at 2:00 a.m. and even the boys slept-in until 10:00 the next morning. Yeah!
On the adoption front, after our disappointment last week we had several conversations with our coordinator and the Russian program director. I came away feeling much better about everything. I think somewhere in the waiting process I lost sight of the big picture and was more concerned with how much longer our wait would be, where are we in line, etc. It was almost as if I forgot that at the end of this there is a little girl that will be joining our family (not that I actually "forgot" this but you get the picture). It took our coordinator saying "Your daughter is waiting" to make me take a step back and realize that this isn't about me or Stu or what is fair, it's about bringing our daughter home. People may call me naive or silly or whatever, but I absolutely believe that there is a big plan out there for each of us. I refuse to believe that things happen by chance and that some of us have good luck and some have bad. Having lost both of my parents and my older brother by the time I was 25 years old, I have to believe that there is some purpose in what happens and that life isn't just a random chance. If not I would feel like Eeyore and a little black cloud was following me around. When the time is right, our daughter will find her way to us. And whenever that happens, we will be ready for her with open arms.


Debbie said...

You're not silly. That's a great lesson to learn. And to always remember that we are doing this process to bring our children home no matter how long it takes.
Glad you had a good weekend.

Rachael said...

Glad you're back and feeling more positive. Hopefully some day this wait will all make sense for you. But waiting is hard, no way around it.

M- said...

Welcome back, and what a great post. Its good for us all to remember that somewhere half way around the world, there's a baby waiting for us. It'll all work out in the end.

jeneflower said...

I used to feel like I was being punished for something I did wrong when things would go wrong or I was having a string of bad luck. I don't believe that anymore. Now I believe that we bring good things to our lives through a positive attitude, looking for the good, expecting good things to happen. I think God wants to bless us if we only accept that and see the good in our lives with a grateful heart. I also think there is a plan and purpose like you said.

Anonymous said...

That is wonderful that you have reached such a good place. Now go and have fun with the boys this summer!

kate said...

I don't know why it's taking so long, but I pray that this time is used to get my daughter(s) ready for me and me for them. Won't it be wonderful to be able to look at the timeline after we've finished and see (oh, I hope we get the chance to see)the reason for our waits? Hang in there!