Just a quick note to say no news on us this week. I was really hoping to hear some news this week about our first trip before the region shuts down in May but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. Some friends are in the region right now for their first trip and are experiencing some delays in the process (nothing major, just typical Russian stuff) so I'm not holding out any hope that we'll hear anything before June. It's kind of nice to not be anxious about getting "the call" every second of every day.
Stu's little sister is getting married this weekend (Congrats Dana and Steve!!!) so we'll be busy with wedding fesitivities for most of this week. My little S is the ringbearer in the wedding and I can't wait to see him dressed in a little tux! Now if we could only convince him to walk down the aisle....
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Time Keeps on Slipping...
Yesterday we went to our weekly playgroup. There are usually 5-6 moms that meet, with 11-12 children. There are two baby girls in our group that are just adorable; one is 7 months old (the daughter of my best friend) and the other is 5 months old. I love to watch them learn and explore the world around them; I often think that HotDog is probably doing similar things right about now (considering the delays that she'll most likely have). People often ask me if it's hard to be around other babies, knowing I'm missing out on those moments with our little girl. The answer is "not really." Of course I wish I could experience those moments with our daughter - I wish I could have been there when she was born, comforted her when she was sick, cheered her on as she reached new milestones, and celebrated her first birthday with her. But the reality is that I can't be there for her during these times in her life and I've learned to accept that (one huge step for me in letting go of control!). Therefore, I find it comforting to be around other babies that are at comparative developmental stages as our HotDog. It makes me feel like in some small way I am a part of her life.
I think it also helps that we have been to both of the baby homes in our region from which most of the children are referred (S was from one and M was from the other). We know the directors and caregivers at both of these institutions and know that HotDog is getting very good care. While neither of these baby homes has many extras, they really do the best they can with what little they do have. And we could tell how much the caregivers loved and cared for both of our boys. So while it is not the ideal place for our baby, we know our HotDog is getting love and attention until we she becomes part of our family and that is helping me get through each day.
I think it also helps that we have been to both of the baby homes in our region from which most of the children are referred (S was from one and M was from the other). We know the directors and caregivers at both of these institutions and know that HotDog is getting very good care. While neither of these baby homes has many extras, they really do the best they can with what little they do have. And we could tell how much the caregivers loved and cared for both of our boys. So while it is not the ideal place for our baby, we know our HotDog is getting love and attention until we she becomes part of our family and that is helping me get through each day.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Random Thoughts
First of all, I want to thank you all for your words of encouragement about the delay in our referral due to the MOE's vacation. I just wanted to whine a little bit and it was nice to hear it was okay to have a pity-party for myself. I can see the irony in the situation: I was thinking about delaying a referral until the end of summer, then as I embrace traveling sooner we encounter this setback which puts us back to traveling closer to the time that I initially wanted. I realize it all comes down to a control issue. I'm trying to exert some control on a situation where I have NONE.
It's so frustrating and I feel like I keep banging my head into a wall over and over again. But I know when I have HotDog in my arms, all of the anxiety will fade away.
In the meantime, I'm having a great time with my boys. We had a wonderful Easter, although it was exhausting. We seriously need several days of recuperation after major holidays. Between visiting our various families, waking up early, no naps, and M on a major sugar buzz all day (I swear the kid was running laps around the house and giggling like a maniac from all of the candy), I just want to curl up in bed for a few days. But it is always great to hang out with family and to experience the holidays through the boys' eyes.
As for the recent USA Today article regarding Russia shutting down international adoptions, I don't have much to say. We've had several friends email us asking what this means for our adoption. While it's true that the last accreditations for adoption agencies have expired, it does not mean that adoptions will come to a halt. Our agency is processing its clients as independent adoptions and most of the regions in which they work are fine with this. This shouldn't have much of an impact on our adoption, as our region is one of those that will continue to process adoptions (yeah!!!). I'm so, so sad for the other PAPs that are having to continue waiting until this mess is settled.
Also, big changes in store for our household. Stu just accepted a new job! I questioned the timing of this (who starts a new job when they know they'll be traveling to Russia for several weeks in the near future??) and pouted about the changes in paperwork that are needed to indicate the new position, it is a great job with a big raise and new challenges. This also means that I will quit my job and be a SAHM for the forseeable future. I currently work part-time (2 days a week/10 hours a day) as an editor. While it's not the most exciting of jobs (I edit tax and accounting journals), I've been here since I graduated from college and they provide excellent benefits and are so flexible with my schedule. I also really enjoy getting into the grown-up world on those two days. However, between the boys starting school in the fall and bringing HotDog home, I think my plate is going to be a little too full to continue with the current arrangements. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that we're finally to the point where I can stay at home and devote all of my time/energy to the kiddos, I'm also terrified that I'll lose my mind. Does that make sense?
(*Edited to add that I reread this and it sounded like I am not that happy with Stu taking this new job. On the contrary, I am absolutely thrilled and so proud of him. I think it's a big step in his career and he absolutely deserves it. I just hesitated with the timing of it all. But we'll work around that. Yeah Stu!!!)
One thing is for sure, life is never boring around our household.
It's so frustrating and I feel like I keep banging my head into a wall over and over again. But I know when I have HotDog in my arms, all of the anxiety will fade away.
In the meantime, I'm having a great time with my boys. We had a wonderful Easter, although it was exhausting. We seriously need several days of recuperation after major holidays. Between visiting our various families, waking up early, no naps, and M on a major sugar buzz all day (I swear the kid was running laps around the house and giggling like a maniac from all of the candy), I just want to curl up in bed for a few days. But it is always great to hang out with family and to experience the holidays through the boys' eyes.
As for the recent USA Today article regarding Russia shutting down international adoptions, I don't have much to say. We've had several friends email us asking what this means for our adoption. While it's true that the last accreditations for adoption agencies have expired, it does not mean that adoptions will come to a halt. Our agency is processing its clients as independent adoptions and most of the regions in which they work are fine with this. This shouldn't have much of an impact on our adoption, as our region is one of those that will continue to process adoptions (yeah!!!). I'm so, so sad for the other PAPs that are having to continue waiting until this mess is settled.
Also, big changes in store for our household. Stu just accepted a new job! I questioned the timing of this (who starts a new job when they know they'll be traveling to Russia for several weeks in the near future??) and pouted about the changes in paperwork that are needed to indicate the new position, it is a great job with a big raise and new challenges. This also means that I will quit my job and be a SAHM for the forseeable future. I currently work part-time (2 days a week/10 hours a day) as an editor. While it's not the most exciting of jobs (I edit tax and accounting journals), I've been here since I graduated from college and they provide excellent benefits and are so flexible with my schedule. I also really enjoy getting into the grown-up world on those two days. However, between the boys starting school in the fall and bringing HotDog home, I think my plate is going to be a little too full to continue with the current arrangements. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that we're finally to the point where I can stay at home and devote all of my time/energy to the kiddos, I'm also terrified that I'll lose my mind. Does that make sense?
(*Edited to add that I reread this and it sounded like I am not that happy with Stu taking this new job. On the contrary, I am absolutely thrilled and so proud of him. I think it's a big step in his career and he absolutely deserves it. I just hesitated with the timing of it all. But we'll work around that. Yeah Stu!!!)
One thing is for sure, life is never boring around our household.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Thursday, April 5, 2007
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Just as I was starting to allow myself to feel a little bit excited about this adoption we got some disappointing news. We're still #2 in line so that is good. [Some other families with our agency have been transferring to our region since other regions aren't progressing as quickly as Astrakhan. I was scared we were going to be bumped back again, but our coordinator assures us that no one should be able to jump ahead of us at this point. One less thing to worry about.] So I've been assuming (yes, I know, my first mistake right there) that we would possibly hear something by the beginning/mid-May, with travel following by end of May or early June. No such luck. Turns out that the MOE in our region is taking a "holiday" for the entire month of May, so no travel invites for the month. (The MOE is the Ministry of Education; she actually gives out the referrals.) This means that we will probably not even hear any news until mid-June and travel would hopefully be end of June/beginning of July. I completely realize that this is still not a long time to wait and many other families have been waiting much longer than us. I am absolutely fine with traveling whenever we get the call. Please don't think I'm whining about that. It's just that I had started to get excited about this whole thing (which is pretty unusual; I tend to be very cautious by nature) and now that anticipation has been yanked away, once again. Sometimes the adoption process just sucks!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Dreams
Last night I had my first vivid dream about HotDog. Before adopting each of the boys, it wasn't unusual for me to have dreams about our impending referral 2 or 3 times a week. But this is the first time I've had a dream about our next little one. It was so realistic that I woke up with my heart beating with excitement and was more than a little disappointed to find that it was just a dream. We had less than 24 hours notice to be in Russia (which would definitely give Stu a heart attack, the planner that he is). And because of that, I forgot the digital camera and video camera at home. I was devastated because I wouldn't be able to record our first moments with our daughter. Our little HotDog was absolutely beautiful though. She had dark hair and dark eyes - very Asian features (which is very possible given the characteristics in our region). She was 14 1/2 months old but very tiny and could barely stand up. I was so in love. And then I woke up. Bummer!
(I'm curious to see if I'm even close in my prediction. I'm been completely wrong with both of the boys.)
(I'm curious to see if I'm even close in my prediction. I'm been completely wrong with both of the boys.)
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